Marthè Ndongala

I caught myself

I caught myself
being more 
burgundy than lilac 
painting my borderlines 
with vivid golds. 
smearing eyes 
that once shadowed blue
with weighted browns 
and watched as the 
rivers crumbled 
in my veins. 
I was heavy with earth  
and tried to
birth mountains 
as my mothers before me.
collected sand 
near my bed post 
in wait 
of a never ending storm. 
the birds of prey 
called with spirt song 
in high notes.
shattered dreams 
and window glass
in one
they caught me. 
raising my hands
in surrender, 
i chanted more 
sullen songs 
on lips unfamiliar with prayer
waiting for the dawn 
to break and this 
long night to be over.