Abigail Thomas

OCTOBER 13 76th Birthday Inventory

I am not yet a cadaver nor am I an old woman asleep with her mouth hanging open which is so reminiscent of a cadaver. One replaced hip. Crooked tooth in front. Several bottom molars leaning like old pilings on deserted waterfronts. Ate birthday cake for breakfast. Seething with rage over politics. Can only vote in one state. Do not consider self doddering, just older than was. Three family members in recovery. Four, if count self. Irritated by those young obsessed with physical fitness. Prefer driving rain to bright sunny days unless at beach. Deeply disgusted by the rich. Have two big holes in one bedroom curtain. Have names of two neurologists re: dizzy spells. Cataracts in both eyes not severe enough for surgery. Cannot drive in dark. Have birthday cake for lunch. Unhealthy desire to set president on fire. Love family. Notice three more small holes on curtain, one so tiny as to be cute. Snack on more birthday cake. Still plagued by worry despite wisdom.